Pakistan for the uninitiated:

Causes of confusion between Pakistan and the UK:

In the UK when you flash your lights to another car it (usually) means please come on. Whereas in Pakistan people flash their lights when they want to say ‘everyone, out of my way, coming through at high speed’. So when a car overtakes it flashes its lights at any oncoming cars expecting them to swerve onto the side of the road, never mind any passing pedestrians, cyclists, donkeys or fruit stalls.

When people say you are looking smart, it means you are looking thin. On the other hand, if someone says you are looking healthy, the ultimate compliment in the UK, here it is a polite way of saying you are fat.

When making a phone call the ringing tone in Pakistan is EXACTLY the same as the engaged tone in the UK. When I first came I put the phone down a fair few times before I twigged.

And at Chakwal’s main traffic junction there are four roads and ONE set of traffic lights. That is not one set of lights for each road, but just one set of lights. But life continues and people manage to travel in an out of Chakwal daily. Ye Pakistan hai. Sab chalte hai. This is Pakistan. Everything is possible.

Let me now up date you as to my culinary efforts. The war against the ants continues. I put down huge amounts of ant powder so now my cooking is complicated by that, the ants, the fact that the surface is a lovely mottled grey colour so I can’t see where either the ants or the ant power are, and several more dead hornets in the sink. I’m seriously considering admitting defeat and eating with the others. Don't get me wrong - I really like Pakistani food, but they eat at 9.30 every evening which is too late. And I have to say eating chappattis three times a day sometimes gets a bit much. And I’m actually trying to be vegetarian again as when we were travelling down the motorway the other week I saw a travelling cage with many chickens in, and it was truly horrible. The chickens were hanging out of their cages which were so small they couldn’t move, and some of them were already dead.

In my last blog I omitted to explain anything about Chakwal and where it is. Well, it is a town about the same size as Mansehra in the northern Punjab, two hours south of Islamabad. In other respects it is completely different to Mansehra though. It is much more of an agricultural town – you can always see farmers coming in with their donkeys and crops and things. And there is a lot of ‘urban agriculture’ – behind the hostel there are fields that previously were used solely as rubbish dumps, but have recently been ploughed. And I think I am the only foreigner here – people stare a lot, whereas in Mansehra because of the earthquake they were used to foreigners. And finally, Chakwal is HOT. It is so hot, the kind of heat I haven’t experienced before. The hostel attracts heat like a greenhouse – it is one level with a flat roof, so the sun beats down on the roof all day and then radiates the heat all night so my room is like an oven the whole time. The fans are very good at moving around hot air. But it is even worse when the power goes off (at least 4 times a day) because of the energy crisis. I thought it was bad in Mansehra when I was reduced to sitting in the dark staring at a gas fire in the evenings, but it is infinitely worse here when the fans go off. The other night I was so baked that I went out on the roof and tried to sleep. Sleep escaped me but the stars were amazing. But I decided not to do that again cos I counted 43 mosquito bites the next day. And now, amazing people in the hostel have got a water cooler working in my room which is the best invention known to man.

And yesterday there was rain! I tell you, I have never felt that happy about rain before in my life. We were walking home from work and I got completely soaked. The rain drops were so big, and the bizarrest thing – some of it was hail!! And at the same time the puddles were hot because of the heat from the pavement. And also, I now have the foolproof way how to get rid of colds…. I caught a cold on Friday (don’t know how in 40 degrees of heat, but I still managed it). So all day yesterday I was snivelling away, and then got completely soaked in the rain, and then had to sit for half an hour in soaking clothes waiting for someone who had run away with our keys. (I was steaming in more sense than one!!) But then my cold went!! Don’t get it (probably this is a case of don’t try this back home - might not work so well….)

On Sunday I was able to get to a local Catholic church. It was good though I didn’t understand a word. The church was held in a room which was brightly decorated with streamers and things. The music was great - two women sat at the front and sang and there was a harmonium and drums, and the church was really full. There is also a Protestant church in Chakwal so I’ll give that a go soon (not that the language problem will be solved at all by doing that). Re language, I’ve decided heat affects the brain so it is impossible to learn a new language when it is over 40 degrees.