A round up of the last two weeks

Yesterday morning I was in Chitral and there was a small earthquake – the house I was in shook slightly. Yesterday afternoon I was in Islamabad and there was a sudden huge clap of thunder and I almost jumped out of my skin. This morning I was in the office and there was a big bang and the doors and windows of the office shook. Another suicide bomber.

What can I say? A return to Surrey looks quite tempting now? But Chitral was unbelievably beautiful and peaceful. The people were so open and friendly and I was treated with such hospitality and generosity it almost reduced me to tears at one point!

But I should backtrack slightly. The last couple of weeks have been fairly eventful, so I’ll start where I left off last time. First of all, here follow my experiences of Ramazan:

- someone at the office offering to go out and get food for me, and then coming back and producing some biscuits from UNDERNEATH his (rather sweaty) kameez
- jumping about a metre high whenever someone comes into my office and I am surreptitiously trying to eat something
- exchanging a conspiratorial wink with the cook whenever I go to get some water or food from the kitchen
- being brought some toast and apple after work by the Director’s 12 year old daughter who was fasting
- getting progressively more bad tempered as the days go on and I can only manage to eat a few biscuits during the day
- witnessing the beginning of a fight between two men in a nearby markaz at the end of the day
- sitting and watching food waiting for the call to prayer so we can start eating iftar (at sunset)
- going out for iftar at the viewpoint over Islamabad and eating a large amount of iftar food (samosas and fruit) and then having to eat a full dinner of curry
- when in Chitral jumping a mile high during a siren sound exactly like the Second World War air raid warnings. After looking up into the sky unproductively I realised it was the sign to start eating
- no power cuts!! (which, after Ramazan, have again restarted)

Secondly, here follows an entry that I wrote two weeks ago but delayed in uploading it because I was away in Chitral. Be warned, I was not happy two weeks ago.

'I have usually tried to be entertaining on my blog, which has often meant I have focused on the positive things and not when things go wrong. But I am now close to despairing. The security situation is spiralling out of control. The news is getting worse and worse every time I look at the BBC website. Pakistan shooting at US helicopters, BA cancelling flights to Pakistan, the High Commission advising against all non-essential travel to cities in Pakistan…. I have never personally felt threatened the entire time I have been here, and I have met hospitality, openness and friendship that has greatly exceeded my expectations. But now the news gnaws away at me leaving a constant feeling of insecurity every time I go out of the house.

And to add to that, last week I was rather angry at the actions of certain INGOs, and now I am just completely disillusioned by the entire development industry. First of all there is no accountability of donor organisations to local NGOs – because donors have the money they have the power, so can basically act as they wish. This has led to actions which at best can be construed as highly unprofessional – decisions delayed for months for no apparent reason, reversed decisions. The rhetoric of ‘partnership’ and ‘working together for justice’ that pervades all INGO literature and promotional material seems to be hypocritical.

Secondly, the whole system is unnecessarily complicated – a lot of money comes initially from big government donors (USAID, DFID, CIDA), which is channelled through INGOs based in the developed world, which then reaches local organisations on the ground. This leads to unnecessary complications as each different donor has different reporting requirements. It also leads to uncertainty and delayed decisions for the organisations who are actually working with the ‘poor’. Bureaucracy can take precedence over actually bringing change.

And finally, the system means that organisations working in the same field are reduced to competing for scarce resources, which leads to professional jealousy and competition rather than working together to combine expertise. It is not like there is not enough work for everyone.

The one hope for this country that is spiralling out of control is education. So I am unbelievably frustrated that the un-professionalism and bureaucracy of donor INGOs who, in their own rhetoric should be ‘bringing hope to the poor’ is threatening a local NGO that is not corrupt and has a real vision and commitment. If I compare MIED with some of the horror stories from other NGOs – senior management forcing employees to return half of their salary each month, absolutely no work being done and lying to the donors… MIED’s staff is so dedicated and committed – many have told me that they are sticking with MIED through all the uncertainty, even though they have been offered much better paid jobs elsewhere. And a few have said that they will work for MIED without pay if the worst came to the worst.

But today I agreed to extend my contract until the end of December. Why? Well, the events of the last two weeks still have not entirely extinguished the spark of hope that change can occur and that justice will be done.

After writing this I went away on holiday for two weeks, but that entry can wait for next time. It will be slightly more cheerful (with a few fab photos....)